Welp...

I gave in.

I had a cigarette.
I was a mess. So I just gave in.

Any smoker knows that it is hard.

I have set a new quit date:

Thursday Sept. 25th

The day after my husbands test.

I had

my first crying fit.

I was really hoping I would not, but I did. I just pulled myself together and now I am fine.

I am really trying to use NOTHING.
But I do have nicorite gum ust in case.

It has been 15 1/2 hours since my last cigarette.

So far is has been 11 hours

Since my last cigarette.

Other than having to stop myself from the "habit" of going outside this morning, I think I have been doing good.

I have to remind myself that I am quitting because I will die.

And so I can get a good nights sleep again. It has been over a week now since I have had a good nights sleep. I am sooo tired.

Just wanted to update.

I ended up having my last cigarette a day early b/c of my breathing problems.

Kinda want to revise what I posted a few days ago

I am still quitting!

But that will be the last time I refer to it as quitting.

Now I see it as going back to that moment before my first cigarette.

See, non smokers do have have to need of a cigarette. And on Monday, I will not have the need anymore.

So....on Monday...I will officially be a NON SMOKER!
I will have the feelings of "needing a cigarette". And get this......all you friends of mine...ones who have smoked or not......

I CAN"T WAIT FOR THE FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Instead of them making me need a cigarette, they are CONFIRMING TO ME THAT I AM NO LONGER HAVING ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXICTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will be on here on Monday.

I am still asking for prayer.....Everyone needs prayer. Pray that my mind stays focused on the "prize" of being a nonsmoker and not my "old" addiction to nicotine.

God Bless and have a great weekend!

Jackie

It is coming to an end

I know I have talked about this in the past, but It is happening now.

I HAVE to quit smoking.

For the last few nights I have been waking up in the middle of the night with a hard wheezing and bad cough...caused by smoking. I feel like there is alot of weight on my chest, and even my inhaler and the kid's nebulizer is not working.

I have to admit, I am scared that something might be already wrong with me and I might be too late. I just want to see my kids grow up. I want to be healthy. I want to feel good throughout the day. I want my energy back.

But, I am scared. Afraid of being mean, moody and so on. But I am quitting with the patch and gum.

Right now I smoke 2 packs a day. I am usually having a cigarette every 20-25 minutes.

But I am planning on recording my cigarettes per day in the evening on my blog.

My quit date in Monday September 22nd.

I WILL NOT SMOKE PAST THAT DATE AGAIN!

Dear Mr. Obama

Ever have times like this?

So irritated, so fusterated so annoyed??


I am feeling that way lately. I can't go into "Details" but it is driving me nuts.

I can't wait for a few things to happen soon. But I think it takes a little motivation on my part....

First of all, I want to...have a desire to....get a job.
I have been that "Stay at home mom" for over 7 years now. And I am getting tired of it.
It has become boring and well...lame.

So I am going to look into community colleges to attend and a career to get into that I see interesting.

I see other mothers like me when the kids are all in school full time, just sitting at home bored. And even though I have Matthew, it will only be a few years until preschool starts and then Kindergarten.

____________________________________________________________________

On another note.

Matthew has surgery yesterday to have ear tubes placed into his ears. It was hard seeing my baby like that, but he is doing great now. I had to call Kevin home early though, because Matthew just would not listen yesterday and was walking around then falling b/c of the meds.