Sunday, September 21, 2008


I gave in.

I had a cigarette.
I was a mess. So I just gave in.

Any smoker knows that it is hard.

I have set a new quit date:

Thursday Sept. 25th

The day after my husbands test.

I had

my first crying fit.

I was really hoping I would not, but I did. I just pulled myself together and now I am fine.

I am really trying to use NOTHING.
But I do have nicorite gum ust in case.

It has been 15 1/2 hours since my last cigarette.

So far is has been 11 hours

Since my last cigarette.

Other than having to stop myself from the "habit" of going outside this morning, I think I have been doing good.

I have to remind myself that I am quitting because I will die.

And so I can get a good nights sleep again. It has been over a week now since I have had a good nights sleep. I am sooo tired.

Just wanted to update.

I ended up having my last cigarette a day early b/c of my breathing problems.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Kinda want to revise what I posted a few days ago

I am still quitting!

But that will be the last time I refer to it as quitting.

Now I see it as going back to that moment before my first cigarette.

See, non smokers do have have to need of a cigarette. And on Monday, I will not have the need anymore.

So....on Monday...I will officially be a NON SMOKER!
I will have the feelings of "needing a cigarette". And get this......all you friends of mine...ones who have smoked or not......


Instead of them making me need a cigarette, they are CONFIRMING TO ME THAT I AM NO LONGER HAVING ONE!!!!!!!!!!!


I will be on here on Monday.

I am still asking for prayer.....Everyone needs prayer. Pray that my mind stays focused on the "prize" of being a nonsmoker and not my "old" addiction to nicotine.

God Bless and have a great weekend!


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

It is coming to an end

I know I have talked about this in the past, but It is happening now.

I HAVE to quit smoking.

For the last few nights I have been waking up in the middle of the night with a hard wheezing and bad cough...caused by smoking. I feel like there is alot of weight on my chest, and even my inhaler and the kid's nebulizer is not working.

I have to admit, I am scared that something might be already wrong with me and I might be too late. I just want to see my kids grow up. I want to be healthy. I want to feel good throughout the day. I want my energy back.

But, I am scared. Afraid of being mean, moody and so on. But I am quitting with the patch and gum.

Right now I smoke 2 packs a day. I am usually having a cigarette every 20-25 minutes.

But I am planning on recording my cigarettes per day in the evening on my blog.

My quit date in Monday September 22nd.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dear Mr. Obama

Ever have times like this?

So irritated, so fusterated so annoyed??

I am feeling that way lately. I can't go into "Details" but it is driving me nuts.

I can't wait for a few things to happen soon. But I think it takes a little motivation on my part....

First of all, I want to...have a desire to....get a job.
I have been that "Stay at home mom" for over 7 years now. And I am getting tired of it.
It has become boring and well...lame.

So I am going to look into community colleges to attend and a career to get into that I see interesting.

I see other mothers like me when the kids are all in school full time, just sitting at home bored. And even though I have Matthew, it will only be a few years until preschool starts and then Kindergarten.


On another note.

Matthew has surgery yesterday to have ear tubes placed into his ears. It was hard seeing my baby like that, but he is doing great now. I had to call Kevin home early though, because Matthew just would not listen yesterday and was walking around then falling b/c of the meds.