Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Vaction Bible School

Since I have cancelled all my accounts to my online groups, I will be updated my VBS here.
I will be just, I don't know, expressing things about it here. Not always negivive lol, but just what I have been up to.

Today, I am starting on getting the budget set up. This is what I feel is the toughest part of the whole thing. It is hard to break everything down piece by piece and write it down.

So I called the Observer newspaper today to get the information about putting an ad into there paper for part of our outreach this year.
That will cost somewhere close to $100-$125 to have an ad ran in the county of Wayne for 4 weeks. I am sitting back and praying about this one. That is alot out of the budget for it and I don't know if we can pull it off. It may be one of those things that may be added into the picture of we raise enought money with the fundraising.

The fundraising, I am excited about. After talking with Pastor, we have a few ideas to raise money. One being a pop can drive. If everyone does do it, we will be able to raise alot of money that way. Another one is a bake sale, and I do need to get permission on when to have it, but I was thinking that maybe Easter Sunday....don't know if that would be ok or not, but there will be alot of people at church that day and maybe be able to raise more money than any other day.
Oh and we are doing a rummage sale too! I have to get moving on these though if I want them to happen. The rummage sale is already planned to be the Saturday before Memorial day weekend. I think it is May 19th (my dad's bday) I am hoping it is a success!

Well, more updates will follow as I get more into this VBS!

Monday, February 26, 2007

He is out!

He is out! For good!

I was having my quiet time with the Lord last night. While that was taking place I realized something, to overtake the devil, you must kick him out. So, he is out. I kicked his butt out of my house for good! Gone, notta, no more of him.
I am rebuking him in all I do and for all I know.

I am just fed up and tired of seeing my family and friends being attacked by him and why? Because of their love for the Lord! No more! Jesus is more powerful than the devil and because of that reason alone, he is gone.

Something that I have learned also is that prayer does not have to be this elegant thing that you have to do at certain times. When I pray, I am talking to God just like I am talking to anyone who is reading this. I tell him how I am feeling, weather happy or sad, and how much I love him and how grateful I am to have him.

The Lord is my savior, my life.
If I did not have him in my life, I would, noooooooooo I know that I would be high on some drug right now and my kids would be in Child protective services or living with some family member.

It is funny how just looking back on how much you have changed can put things into prospective. Just by typing that makes me remember and think about how much I have changed. Sometimes I have people telling me left and right that I need to change this or that. That I can't be a Godly person if I am doing this or that. Well, LOOK! I was able to rid myself of drugs! DRUGS! I have sins in my life yes, that is something that will take time to get rid of, but with God, all things are possible.

You know, I heard today on the radio about accountability. On how people should have accountability partners. Well, with that said, I need to confess to anyone here.
When I got pregnant with Matthew, I quit smoking but my worst fear came back to me. I started smoking again. :(
But, instead of beating myself up everyday like I have for making such a dumb and stupid mistake once again, I am giving this sin to the Lord. I am laying it down on His feet. It is His.
Can I just up and quit? I don't know. Will I try? YES! I am tired of this sin in my life and all it is doing is holding me back farther from the Lord. I allowed this sin to control certain things I do. I will make decisions based on when I can have a cigarette. STUPID! Okay, my point of confessing this is to have accountability. I am asking that whoever reads this, can help me be accountable for this sin. Even if I have not completely quit, I need you to help me realize that I need to quit, and to see how it is going. I will no longer be ashamed of my sin also. I don't care who knows that I started smoking again. (though I figure most have smelled the nasty smell on me already)
My plan is this..... On Monday March 5th I will be cutting my smoking in 1/2. Only 15 cigarettes a day (yup I smoke a pack and 1/2 a day....terrible!) Then the following Monday, I will only smoke 8 cigarettes a day, then the following monday 3 cigarettes. Then with the Lords help, the Monday after that, I will be a non smoker and a healthier person.
Please, help me with support and love on this!
Thank you

Sunday, February 25, 2007

The feeling Blue

I am completely feeling like the devil is attacking left and right lately.
It is effecting almost everyone I know.
From my sister, to church friends to my home.
Why is this? Why does the devil feel the need to attack us?

It does upset me to see everyone I know, even myself, in such a blue mood. Not happy about anything because to be honest, there is not much to be happy about. So many people we know are going through troubles. How can someone be happy about not being able to pay rent, or having to take money from one bill to pay another?
Or for some out there, to have to compromise one activity for another.

This devil must be rebuked out of our lives. Maybe it is happening because of how we are living our lives. Just by allowing one thing to slide, allows another thing to slide, then as soon as you know it, you are backsliding.
Kevin and I were just like that last week. We were about to make the most worst decision of our lives. We were believing such lies that the devil feeds you, and leave such a warm loving environment for what? To satisfy our needs...not God's.

Just to change a little here.................

Oh my, I am about to share my feelings about a couple I know at my church. But so that I am not putting to much out there, I will refrain from naming names. But to any potential readers out there, I don't know....I just feel the need to share about how this couple has changed the way I view some things.

Let see, I knew about this couple from my parents before I even attended my church. My mother would always talk about how his wife would home school all there children, which are now 6 children. That is kinda how I first found out about them. Then when I started attending my church, I met them. Very friendly and well-put-together family. As time went by I found myself putting this family on a pedestal. Like setting them up as an example on how I should raise my family. The things that they probably struggle in, I never saw. I would think they were so perfect. Very submissive wife, loving trusting husband. And such great parents.
What I did, bc I saw myself thinking like this, I prayed for the Lord to show me the real them. And of course he did. I saw that they were this normal family, with normal problems and normal good qualities also. So I guess the question is this? Do I still put them up on a pedestal? No, but I do admire them. I admire there relationship with God and how strong there trust is in Him. I am pretty sure, just like I am with the Dugger family, that if someone who has a big family did not follow God's will, that they would have probably stop having children at 2 or 3 kids.
Ya know what? I am sitting here in this tiny 2 bedroom apartment looking around at how cramped up this place is with 5 bodies living in it and just reflecting on hearing that the Dugger family lived in a 3 bedroom house for years with like 14 people! I really need to put things into prospective.
Like the family I have talked about and the Dugger family, I feel they live as an example for the following verses....

Proverbs 3:5&6
Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight.

In both these families, weather they know it or not, they have been examples of these verses. Do they have there bad days? YES! But at the end of the day, they have trusted God with everything they can, gone past there own understanding, acknowledged God in everything, and trusted in him to lead them.
That alone, I admire!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Urgent prayer request

My sister Sue, is going through a huge trial today.
It is about her baby :(
Please keep her and her husband Zach in prayer.
They received some very very bad news about the baby this morning.
Thank you

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sunday Feb. 18th 2007

After some consideration, Kevin and I came to a decision to stay home from church today. Due to him being overworked with his normal job, as a plumber, and helping out at my sister's alot lately, we needed a family day. It really hit him last night when he came home and told me that he had not seen his kids in 3 days.

It is amazing how you can just allow life to grab you and take you far away from where you want to be. Our main focus as parents is to make sure our children are in a loving and caring environment. That was not happening since he has been preoccupied with my sisters house.

I will have to say that I totally missed being at church. I think it was just hearing a sermon and enjoy fellowship with others. I will just have to wait until next week to have that!

We decided to take our kids to ceaserland to just spoil them a little. They had a blast and I hit the Jackpot on a token machine and won the kids 250 tickets! I love doing that! Though there was some embarrassment when I was collecting my tickets! But it was for the kids! He he!

Now it is all about relaxing as a family. And just as I expected, Kevin is snoozing away on the couch watching some type of police show on t.v. It is either a police show or America's funniest home videos! After 10 years with someone, I guess you start to just expect certain things from them.

Oh, I must share my dreams last night. I had not 1, not 2 but 3 nightmares last night. The first one, I cannot remember. But the second was about these airplanes shaped like birds, that had movements like a bird has, and people screaming at me to help save there lives. I am still scared just talking about it.
The third one was about this box that had something electrical in it. I saw it smoking then all of a sudden someone showed up with a fire extinguisher but it made the fire worse, so I went to pull the fire alarm and run, and it blew up like a bomb.
Both about people, both about your life in jeopardy..... just scary huh?

Friday, February 16, 2007

Life just getting ahold of me!

Just life getting a hold of me before I can't get a hold of it.

This week was the first week of Jonny stopping home school and starting up preschool. At first, I was scared. He was crying for me and wanting to home school. But the Lord was really showing me that He is in control. He calmed Jonny down, and now, Jonny is just in love with preschool.
Today, they gave him this DVD about stories in the bible. Very cool! It is a Christian preschool, which makes it pricey, but in the long run, very worth it. And once again, God will provide.

This weekend will be busy.
Tonight, Kevin and I are getting out for a while. My mother is watching Matty and Kevin's dad is watching the boys. We are going to dinner and bowling. I am so happy that we are putting "time together" on the top of our lists now. It is refreshing to have some time alone without kids interrupting. It makes me remember that I was his wife first! lol

Saturday, Kevin is working at my sisters all day. So I will have a good chance of getting caught up on the house work. There is just SO much going on lately, that I haven't been able to keep up with the normal stuff.
Sunday is church of course. Then a day of relaxing!

We do have some important decisions to make soon. So if you can keep us in prayer.
We have too much on our plates and well have seen our efforts to please God turn into people pleasing. So if you could please keep praying that we make the right decisions. Turning down the people is a hard thing to do.

Monday, February 12, 2007


Last night, I turned to God. And he gave me this song. I wrote a song, needs work, but it is a start!

Lord, Draw me close
I need to feel your peace and your love.

Lord, to feel your presence
To feel it comeing down from above.

Verse 1
I found you in the darkness
As I was empty and down

You came into my life
And turned it all around.

Verse 2
Since the first moment
You gave your life for me

So that I can join you
And triumph mightly.

I see it clearly now,
I see how much you love
The power that you are,
And how you send it down from above.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

A New day

Other than poems, I have not really been writing much lately.

It is time for me to start a new day!

As I posted in one of my previous posts, I am wanting to become closer to God this year. I want to know what he expects out of me as his child.
In our home group, we were asked to spend a few minutes a day meditating on the Lord.
Well, with much work on that, I was failing. I just could not hear him or feel him. I received nothing. Until Monday night.
Kevin and I have been debating weather or not to home school our children. Well, we have looked at a lot of books, and online studies about the issue. After we prayed out of our search, I did not feel good. Just felt confused. I want, better.... WE want to do God's will. But feel confused on what that is.
In the word it tells us to find out his will we need to:

1. Pray
2. Aline it up in the Word
3. Talk to elders in the church
4. Pray some more

Well, I really felt that we have done all 3 of those.
So, as I was asked by my home group leader, I got into my prayer closet. The shower!
I turned on my praise and worship and started to humble myself to him.
See, during this search about homeschooling a lot of negatives came out about me. Like if I could stick to a schedule, if just because I had a bad day would I still school? Another one was if I was qualified enough to.
Well I took it all to Him. Humbled myself to him.
And in the end, I heard him. I finally heard Jesus speaking to me. To my heart.
This is what he told me:
To remember Proverbs 3:5-6 , which tells us to trust in him, and follow his paths.
And that HE is my strength. That if it is His will for our children to be home schooled, he would give me the strength to get through the tough days.
But I am still not knowing if it is His will?
It is a hard one to tell. I know it is in my heart to teach my own children. I feel it as a calling of mine. Since I was a little girl all I wanted to do is be a Mommy and teach!
So, to whomever reads this, could you please pray with Kevin and I, that we are open to His will, and allow him to direct our paths!

Just a quick question for all you readers!

When you trust in God, do you just trust in him while you are going down that bad dirt road? Or do you allow him on the smooth pavement also?

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

My Poems

I think I have found something that I love to do..
Writing Poems.

I don't know, I get mixed reviews on them. Some say nothing, some say they should not rhyme, and others just love them.

I will be posting them as I feel the need to.

The previous 3 poems are some that I have been holding onto, and felt lead to share!



I woke up in a sad mood,
That makes me feel unloved.

I just feel like I can't measure up,
And that makes me feel unloved.

The day breaks with so much promise,
I hear the clitter clatter of children playing,
But yet,
I still feel unloved.

I spend most evenings alone,
Even though he is home.
And I feel unloved.

I talk to him and sometimes stare,
But he acts like I am not there,
And I feel unloved.

As the day goes by,
I end up starting to cry,
Because I feel unloved.

Will he see the pain he can cause,
When he can not take a moment to pause,
That makes me feel unloved.

For I love him with all my heart,
And I never am willing to part,
Even if I feel unloved.

With God who strengthens me is whom I trust,
With Jesus I just must continue without a fuss.
And one day,
I will no longer feel unloved.

The Moments

The Moments

Every moment that goes by,
I reflect and wonder why.

How can they grow so fast?
How long will this stage last?

While my boys are still small,
and play with toys in the hall.

I know one day it will end,
and I may not be a friend.

To my Bubba, my First and Last,
for they are growing up so fast.

I will miss this precious day,
Of watching the way my boys play.

Imagination, Cars, and Tag,
Pillow and couch games are just a fad.

I spend too much time try to take it all in,
And awaiting the next stage to begin.

Will they still treasure a waking day?
Or still get excited about a new game to play?

Will they just live a life of worry?
Or go brushing off in a hurry?

Will they forget there Mom and Dad?
Or will they remember all the fun we have had?

I know I will miss these days,
These beauiful , loving, and precious days.

My testimony

My Testimony
By Jackie Grim

To see the love He has for me,
You must take the time to see.

The Lord saved me by His Grace,
And has set up my resting place.

Because of His Son, I have become,
A great woman in Christ, open to everyone.

A few years ago, my eyes were not open to him,
I was raising my family in sin.

A world of hate, addiction and lies,
Until one night when I started to cry.

He showed me the price Jesus payed for both you and for me.

I saw it all, all of the sin,
That sin my family and I were in.

At that moment I spoke to him,
And allowed him to come back in.

It is a night I won't forget,
When I truely understood the promise he kept.

All he asked me was to love him,
And to turn away from my sin.

For me at first, it was not an easy task,
I had a strong hold over me, that I used as a mask.

But with prayer and love from family and friends,
The Lord will comfort me until the end.

Yes I am telling you my testimony,
Of when I allowed Jesus to hold me.

Once I humbled myself to him,
I was able to walk away from that sin.

Thank you Jesus for your loving heart,
And for giving me a brand new start!