Wednesday, November 7, 2007

A new light!

Ya know, so many times I allow other people to change who I am. I allow them to make me into a person whom I do not like. Jealous, yes I can be. Rude, yup...been there.
We all fall short right? We all are sinners saved by God's amazing grace! So that means what? To me, it means that we all make mistakes. But what else? We all need to forgive each other without even the other person asking for forgiveness! That is key! When someone does harm to you, why must you take that and make more of it? Do you understand? We always want to make more of what we have. That includes a bad situation. Someone is upset with someone else, so what do we do? Try to fix it! Why???? That is not your situation, that is there's.
Ok, did anything I just wrote make any sense? I hope so. Basically all I was trying to say is that you need to pay attention to what matters most, your family, yourself and most of all, you love for the great and almighty God! God matters, nothing else! Who cares if someone doesn't like you, so what! lol

Also, here is my myspace account link for anyone who is out there!

Have a great week!
Jackie :)

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Another post

I really am clueless when it comes to naming these posts!

Life has been really going well lately. Financially speaking, very well. God has overly blessed us with more than enough! I feel so happy! It seems like for the first time in 7 years, we can afford to bless our children with a Christmas that is totally from our own means. I am very excited!

Just an update on my quitting smoking...
I gave up for a while. I just stopped trying. I think I was just thinking that I would never quit anyways and I am really scared. But, I am not giving up anymore. I am logging my cigarettes and so far, I am only smoking 19 a day. Much less than I thought! So that is very good. I am planning on smoking one less each day. Even if I stay at smoking a certain amount each day, lets say like 5 a day, for a time period I would be very proud of myself. To me, quitting is a process in my mind. I need to get over the feeling of needing one. I find myself running to them to often, I need to run to the Lord first!

I do have a request for prayer for any of you other bloggers out there. I have been having a hard time with my eyes. They are not opening right. Very sensitive to light and worse in the morning when I first wake up. They are much better in the evening and when I am indoors. This does make a problem when I am trying to get 2 kids ready in the morning for school and I cannot even open my eyes enough to see. It is like the feeling you get when you are in the dark for a long time then all of a sudden the bright lights are turned on.

Thank you :)

Friday, October 5, 2007

Friday Oct. 5th

I am just so happy that this week is over!

I spent the first 3 days in the doctors office with Jonny and Matthew. After our camping trip last weekend, both of them got sick. Jonny had bronchitis and Matthew had a cold. Today, they are much better.
I spent my morning out with my sister. I took her out to breakfast and then we went shopping at IKEA. She got a new bedroom set! I am excited because that means I get her old one! lol
This weekend is not all glamour here. Kevin is working on the brakes tomorrow and finishing up my sisters bathroom. Then he is helping a friend weatherproof her home.
I will have him to myself tomorrow night! Movie night!

Tonight we are going to Apple bees! Kevin wins gift certificates all the time so he wants to treat us out! lol
Sunday is church. We have been kinda slacking on our attendance at church. Not totally our fault. We did take a break last weekend due to our camping trip, but we have been either sick or Kevin has been working. One thing that I have found out is that it is really hard for me to take all 3 boys to church without Kevin. It is funny how God has that special person picked out for you. Kevin is my brain. He just knows exactly what to do when it comes to handling the kids. All I have to do is give him a look, and he jumps! ;)

Ok, so I am getting a little frustrated right now. Matthew is not going for his nap today. It is already 3:30 and he is just talking and playing in his crib. We are suppost to go out to dinner tonight and this boy won't nap! I am really hoping that he does or we may need to cancel or order in. I don't think the people around us would like a screaming baby while they enjoy there food!

Jackie :)

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

It has been a while since I have posted anything on here

Maybe because I wonder if anyone reads it, but I say "What the hay, why not! lol"

I can truly say that God has totally shown all his changes that he had in store for Kevin and I. We moved (of course, I think I have posted that already), have changed roles at our church. That was such a good thing. Now, I can put all my focus on my family and best off, I have learned to say NO! I think it is making some people upset, but I have to not care and do what God wants. Ummm....let's see...... oh, Jonny is doing so well in school. I was honestly thinking that I would be homeschooling him by now, but he is just loving it and so far, I have not received anything about bad behavior. I saw the teachers aid today at the school and she just was telling me how good Jonny is. PTL!
My mornings have been very relaxing. I have needed this. Matthew goes down for a nap around 11am so from 11-12 every weekday, I have to myself. I have been reading, cleaning, playing games online and just enjoying the blessing God has given me.

This weekend we are going away camping. It should be fun. Maybe.... I don't know how much fun it will be for a 14 month old baby though. It will be chilly at night but Kevin and I have both agreed that we have the extra funds to do this and that we desperately need to get away for a few days. Some stuff has happened and we really just need to get away from my side of the family lol! So instead, we are going to be around his side, the side I have problems with LOL! But God keeps putting me around them for a reason. I am really hoping that I can witness to them. But they are a tough bunch. Very tough.
So, yes, no church this Sunday but Kevin agrees that it is best to miss it.

For what I can think of, that is it!

Have a blessed day!
Jackie :)

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Alot to do, no time to do it

Seriously, I have no time anymore.
Life has just taken ahold of me, and now I can't seem to grab it back.

I was out of town last week attending my grandmothers funeral. I was not close to her at all. Matter of fact, I did not even cry at the funeral. I went to be a support to my father and my aunts and uncles. Was it worth a 10 hour drive one way? I still don't know??????

During that time, Kevin stayed home with the kids. He missed me just as I missed hime and my kids. But it showed alot to me. How important family is, how much love I have for my husband and just the importance of telling someone you love them.

I met up with the cousin Bobbi. She is the youngest daughter to my Uncle Johnny. The one who lost his daughter 2 years ago. She is in desperate need of someone in her life. My aunt and uncle both work jobs that cause them to be out of town ALOT and well, my cousin Jay is not much help. So I have been praying for God to show me a way to reach out. So far, I am making plans to attend her graduation. I was not planning on going, but I think it would be best that I go.

Alot has happenned. Some things that I can't talk about. Just alot of change, even with my rolls at church. Much to see!
I can speak about my roll in the nursery. I am stepping down there. I just don't have the time anymore. I have been totally neglecting my family due to my commitments at church. And well, my family must come first. So I stepped down, but will not offically until July 1st.
VBS is another concern to me. I have not done much yet for it and don't see when I can work on it. That is something I am praying about and awaiting on the Lord. The only time I can think of being able to work on vbs would be around bedtime. I have seriously never been so busy before. I even forgot about Matthews check up/shots appt last month. And that was an appt he needed to go to bc I was late on the shots. This is getting out of hand and I know I need to set up my priorities.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Is it to much change? Or overworked?

I am in a feeling of a down right now. I kinda have been the last few days.
Even though so many blessings have been pouring in from the Lord, many bad things have been happening also.
One thing that happened was our dryer broke. I have been air drying clothes for 2 weeks and then took some loads to my mothers last week just so Jonny could leave a crayon in his pocket and now the clothes and dryer were stained with a bright purple with sparkles! YEAH! Thank God, I was able to get it out of her dryer though.
A brighter side is that today we got a new dryer! So I spent the evening catching up on laundry and getting the house back to 1/2 way decent shape. That is challenging due to packed up boxes in my living room.
Maybe I just need a nudge or something. I just can't seem to snap out of this feeling. I am almost thinking that it could turn into a depression if I don't get out of it soon. I do have alot going on at once though. Maybe I did take on to much this summer. Hmmmmmm

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Friday is the day...

That we sign on our new home!

8am! That is kinda early, but I am sooo excited! I can't wait to move!!!!!!!

Hopefully then we will be moving soon after....the talk is so much about when we will be moving. We want to move in 3 weeks or even sooner, but the owners right now want to it is getting them to budge!


Friday, April 13, 2007

Alot to share about

So much has been going on here!

First of all, we are moving! It should be happening around May 19th. We are moving into a 3 bedroom mobile home and paying alot less than we re right now! God has totally answered that prayer.

Homeschooling is going ok. I am getting down on myself because I just don't feel like I am putting enough time into it. Though, I know it is just preschool, Jonny is smarter than the regular preschool stuff.
Joey is full blown reading now! He has flew through first grade materials throughout his spring break here. I would love to home school him someday, but that is up to God!

Let see, hmmmm I know there is more stuff going on.........

Geesh... I get online finally and forget everything! hehe

Oh, we are getting a television back. I actually am using a free dial up online service right now. I was going nuts. And when we move, we are getting a package plan through At&t. Last night if someone stopped by our house, I think Kevin and I would have thanked then to death for just having something to do. I actually told Kevin that I am tired of talking! LOL

Ok, that is my update for now!
Have a blessed weekend!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

This is it!

As of tomorrow morning, we will no longer have cable TV or Internet.

Last night, we gave my sister back her television and rearranged our living room. Boy, there is so much room. And because we returned the TV last night, we have no cable today. To be honest, that does not bother me at all really. I don't watch much TV. Just the news.

But this may be my last post for a while. I will be going online at the library once a week, so I may be able to jump online here and update all of you on what is going on, and how no TV and Internet is going!

Oh, I must talk about the homeschooling at my home.
So far, so good! Jonny has completed a "D" book today. He has been working on it all week, and due to the holiday weekend, we will be ending our first week a day early. But that does not mean that we are not learning on Friday! (oh no...homeschooling mommy coming out! lol) We will be spending most of the day focusing on why Good Friday is called Good Friday! And what the real reason of Easter Sunday is. I have a few crafts and stories I can't wait to do with the kids!

But all in all, it is going so well. Jonny even has a bookworm. It is made up of circles, and you add each book to it and see how long the worm is getting. Jonny loves seeing the worm getting bigger and bigger!

Well, I suppose the only thing I will miss the most about the Internet is that I can check my bank account online! LOL Silly huh?


Bye for now! :)

Sunday, April 1, 2007


It is normal to go through changes. We could call them seasons.

Well, my season of having a television and interent is coming to an end. By the end of this week, I will not be able to log online unless I go to the library.

To make more changes in our lives, we have a strong chance that we will be moving. Not 100% yet, but to a home that has more bedrooms, and more space. That is my parents house. They are selling there house, and my dad has offered to try to get us approved. Well, I guess I stated that wrong. He kinda has been just assuming that we wanted it. Which at first really bothered Kevin and I. But now, after prayer and thinking, it is more space and we have decided to just continue praying about it, and let God lead us through this one.
We do not have a great credit score. We have made alot of mistakes in our past that affect us today, but I do know that if this is God's will, then a credit score is nothing to him! I should know if this will be happening within 2-3 weeks. So, pray please, not for us to get this house, but for God's will to shine through!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

I can't think of a title for this post!

I was looking outside. Just "taking a break" and well, I looked at the grass, getting greener! Love spring! That means summer is coming!
Now as I was looking around, I look at my air conditioner. Stupid I know, but I saw something that I have never seen before. A solider on a horse with all his armor. On his shield was a cross. When I was looking at this, I was thinking back to so many nights standing outside and praying. Asking God to protect my family from illness, pain, and the enemy. A little did I know, that there was a sign on my air conditioner. I know, sounds silly. But it just gave me a kind of comfort, knowing that God is even watching over my air conditioner!

As for an update on my smoking and on VBS.....

Smoking, well that is not going as planned. I am hard on myself. I have not gone up in cigarettes, but I have not gone down too. I am just stuck at a 1/2 pack a day.

VBS, I finished tracing yesterday. Today, I am working on outlining and getting all the paints ready to hand off!

Monday, March 26, 2007

God's blessings

The Lord has truely blessed southeastern Michigan today with a beautiful warm day.

I took advantage of this blessing and went out with the kids. We went for a long walk to the park then on the way back, stopped by my sisters and went for another long walk.

I am very tired now, but are the kids! :)

Got home just in time to put Matthew down for his nap, and get a little rest before dinner time!

God sure does know how to send us his blessing just in time!

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Day #1

A new lifestyle change for the Grim family starts today.

I went grocery shopping today for wholesome, healthy food. Low in sugar, natural sugars, and good source of vitamins.

I am first starting off in changing our habits in our snacks. Once I have that under control, then I will work into our dinners. Though, I am not one to make high greasy foods and just poor in nutrition foods.

So far, the kids are loving this change. (though they have not asked for a candy bar yet!)

Kevin and I are looking into the future in so many ways. And I see God opening us both up for his plans. So much is going on, that I cannot share and probably will not share. But I can say this: We are being asked from God to change. To change so many things about our lifestyle, that will indeed change our way of life. This is very hard for Kevin. He does not like change, but he loves the Lord. And with that, he will accept this change. We have no choice but to be in constant prayer and communication with God due to alot of decisions that need to be made. And these decisions, the outcome of them, are hard to see. Hard to know if it is the right way to go. So trusting God is number 1 and we go from there!

Friday, March 23, 2007


It is amazing what God has in store for you.

One minute you can be walking along, thinking this is the best that it can get and then BOOM, it hits you. Faster than you can blink, alot changes.

That is how life is hitting me lately. Through all these changes in our family life, come decisions. Some that you just would not want to make due to the comments and feelings you will receive.

But, that is when God walks into the path you are walking in. He takes that path that is just full of bumps and dirt, and makes it smooth and enjoyable.

Maybe I am not able to share everything that is going on at this point. But I do feel this overwhelming change happening. Well, it is more than a feeling, it is actually happening.

And to make it seem all so real, it is just not me. For example, it is not me that want this change. It is God. And well, like I have always said, I am sure not going to be the person to get in the way of God's will!
So, I will obey. Wait. Listen. Pray. and ask for guidance.

I am praying that I will be able to shout to the world (my blog lol) about these changes soon. But that depends on God too!

God Bless and have a blessed weekend!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007


Today is the day that our lives return to normal.

Over the last week and 1/2, each one of us has gotten sick from the nasty cold. I am just happy that all 3 of the boys are much better now.

So you ask, what did she get done in VBS so far?

Not much! I have not had much time to get anything moving forward. I was suppost to meet with my sister on Thursday last week and plan out the outreach but with the kids being sick, it just was not going to work out. I will have to schedule a different time to meet. Maybe tomorrow.
I did get some more decorations traced and outlined. But I am finding this year's VBS much more difficult to decorate than last years. It was easy to just trace out some pictures and slap them on the walls, add some streamers and there ya go.
Not the same this year. I have my work cut out for me. But what makes it so relaxing is knowing that this is what God wanted me to do. And well, he is the one with the plan, not me.
I see it like this....God has a plan for the VBS, and as time goes by, I get told what to do here or there. He is letting me know, in His timing, what to do. That makes me not worry at all this year. (I was a nervous wreck last year)

Friday, March 16, 2007

Finally it is friday

What a week here!

Jonathon is now starting to come around.
Joey still has a fever, but I am able to control it.
But Matthew. :( My baby has a fever running around 103.0 He is doing okay. I mean, he is smiling at me and saying "da da da". I know he will be fine, but I still don't have his medication. The pharmacy had to order it and I am awaiting a phone call so I can pick it up.

I am doing better, I feel better. And I know I need to take it easy. I almost fainted earlier while trying to clean this house. If you know me, then you know that I can't rest in a dirty house. It is a bad thing in a way, but Kevin likes it.

So now, I am resting. My attempts to do some major cleaning in this house failed, so I am just resting and taking care of my sick little ones.

Have a blessed weekend!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Back from the doctors

I have a sinus infection. God totally blessed my family with an awesome doctor. She gave me all my medicine through free samples because my copay is so expensive. ($30 per script)

I will be going to the Pine Wood Derby tonight after all. Just going to be taking it easy. I don't want to miss out on this event. Joey has waited all year for this, and this is not contagious from what I know, so I will be there!

Now.......REST, REST, REST! So that I feel better for tonight!

Oh, I should update everyone on my quitting efforts.
It is getting better. I am only down to 10 cigarettes a day now. (I had hoped to be down to 8 I think) But I am not giving up. Quitting is a process. From what I have read about it, it takes time to quit. You just have to stay focused on quitting.

It is making it's rounds

Now, I am sick. :(

Woke up at like 3am shaking because I was soo cold. I had a fever (still do) and now I just feel all icky. Part of having a family.

Kevin took today off work, even though I did not want him to, to take care of things. He was telling me that with the last 2 days of not getting any sleep and taking on the regular tasks of a mom, no wonder why I am sick. And that I won't get any better if I just don't rest. So, he is staying home and doing my job.

Tonight is Joey's Pine derby at church. I won't be going now. I am bummed, but I am going to ask my dad to tape it for me!

Monday, March 12, 2007


The joys of kids!

Yesterday when we arrived at my parents house for our traditional after service dinner, Jonny started complaining of being really cold. So I took his temp and it was 101.5. Kevin and Zach ran up to CVS for some motrin, and we got it under control. This automatically set me off that something was the matter. (I guess that would be common sense! LOL)
So about 5 hours later, another temp of 101.5. More motrin.

ALL night last night he was running a temp. My poor little guy could not break this temp. No amount of medicine would bring it down to normal.

So, after getting about 2-3 hours of broken sleep, Kevin told me to call Joey into school, that it would be silly of me to put that much on me today. (I was like YES! I am just so tired) And I called the doctors this morning. Jonny has a swollen tounsil that has lead into an ear infection. Poor little guy. He is on antibotics, and right now, resting. But now I am thinking about myself resting! lol Boy, it is hard juggling a baby and a sick child all night long.

Kevin is being a great husband about this and told me even though I have alot of housework to do, to take the day off. He is so nice when it comes to this. He wanted to stay home and help, but I was not letting that happen. I will get through the day. It may not be my favorite day, but I will push through it and get some much needed rest tonight!

Saturday, March 10, 2007


The budget is done for VBS!
I was sitting down today, after tracing another hard poster for VBS, thinking about how it would feel to have the bulk of the budget done so I pushed myself, and finished the budget. It took a good 2 hours, but it is done!


Now, I need to clean up this house again. Poor Kevin is not having a good day at work. He has been working all day long, and made not one penny! I don't like hearing him upset like that. But God sure does provide for us!

Ok, I have to get off this thing and make dinner!

God Bless!

Thursday, March 8, 2007

It is under way!

Today, I am starting the decoration part of VBS. I am tracing! This is hard on the hands, but worth it.
What happens in the process of making a blank piece of paper into a decorated object?

Well, first you trace. Some pieces can take hours to trace!
Next, you outline everything in a sharpie marker. This makes the lines better to see and you will not miss out on anything when you paint.
Then, you paint. This is the fun part! I LOVE PAINTING!
After the paint dries, you go over the black lines again with a sharpie. (If you have painted well enough, this is not needed)
Last, you cut it out! This is actually some thing you do like the week before!

Making the decorations is so much fun, at least to me! It is something that I remember so well from last year. Kevin and I would just trace, paint and sharpie while playing our christian music in the background. That is actually how we got to know alot of songs and how we fell in love with Allen Cullen! WHAT A VOICE HUH?

But tonight and tomorrow evening, it is crunch time. I need to get the budget done. I want this thing out of my way. It is just the thing I least like doing. But hey, someone has to do it, and well, I am the leader of the thing right? That means it is me who needs to do it! lol

I will say this...I am really excited this year over VBS. It might be because it is more challenging, and I know, with God, I can pull it off. Or maybe because this year, I am only doing this because God wants me to. Things that bothered me last year, don't bother me at all this year about it. I know I have alot on my plate, but I also know that all I have to do is ask, and I would have alot of people lined up to help.
I am excited to see how these next 4 1/2 months play out.

Oh, I have set a date....if it doesn't work with everyone, I will change it though. I need all my workers to be able to be there! August 6 -10th! From 6:30pm - 9pm!

Monday, March 5, 2007

Just sad

In Michigan, we have a case of a man who murdered his wife. It is all over the country now.

Here is an update on the story.

Just sad! :(

Day 1 quitting

I am setting a new goal for myself with quitting. I am cutting down each day instead of each week. I am finding it really easy right now, which I do NOT like. So, instead of 15 cigarettes, it is 12 today, then 11 tomorrow and so on and so on.

Our weekend was a little exciting, not on a great side. Maybe it would be better to just say it was busy.
It started off with Kevin working on call Friday night. He has a busy month with on call days, so I am expecting alot of time alone this month, but hopefully, it shows in his paychecks!

Saturday morning was kinda nice. Kevin made breakfast burritos. They were VERY yummy, and food that I don't have to cook, is GREAT! Then we had attended a memorial service for a friend at church. I really thought our church honored this person very well. As the service was going on, my sister was landing at the airport from Hawaii. (oh, how I wish I could have just fit into a suitcase and went with her! lol) That evening, we went to her house, she got the kids a few things and begged us to stay around until around 7pm to keep them awake due to jet lag. But around 6:30 Joey started complaining really bad of his ear hurting and running a temp so off I go to the urgent care. 2 hours...2 hours waiting a no doctor yet. Finally I had to leave the room and hunt down someone and ask how much longer it would be, then of course within 5 minutes a doctor came! (makes me wonder if the doctor would have been there that fast if I had not said anything????) Joey has a double ear infection. Poor kid! I felt so bad, so once we left, I dropped him off at home then had to wait at the pharmacy to get his scripts filled. Good ole' 24 hour CVS Drugs! I did not get home from all of that until 10:30pm and I was wiped.
Sunday, I attended church with Jonny and Matthew. Kevin stayed home with Joey so he could go to school today.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Just because I am bored this morning....

Kevin just may be the next spokesperson for Pepsi!

(I have figured out how to posts pictures!)

It has happened....

Matthew is...............Crawling!

I just stepped outside for 2 minutes this morning, came back in to see him crawling full force!
My baby is getting so big!

But he sure is loving it!

Friday, March 2, 2007


Today was not a great day for Jonathon in school, once again.
I was really thinking that after 3 weeks, he would get used to preschool and start meeting friends, and having fun. Not the case. He doesn't want to go and wants me to homeschool. But, I can't. Not just because Kevin doesn't want to, but because I know this is God's will for Jonny right now. And I do say right now, because I do not know what the future holds. This could be God's will so he can show us something. It could be his will for us to homeschool, but we need to know other things first. Who knows.....welp, God does LOL

His teacher was talking to me today about Jonny's behavior in class. He will not sit still, or pay attention to directions. And much more, but the same words almost came out until I stopped her and said "I know, his doctor told me he could be borderline adhd" She was like nodding and agreeing. But, I just think it is amazing how fast someone is when it comes to labeling your child. Jonny is just special. He just needs a different approach when it comes to learning. He is not one that can learn from a textbook type, more hands on is Jonny. (though he does get attached to things very quickly)

Here are some pictures of the boys when Joey had chicks in his Kindergarten class!



Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Vaction Bible School

Since I have cancelled all my accounts to my online groups, I will be updated my VBS here.
I will be just, I don't know, expressing things about it here. Not always negivive lol, but just what I have been up to.

Today, I am starting on getting the budget set up. This is what I feel is the toughest part of the whole thing. It is hard to break everything down piece by piece and write it down.

So I called the Observer newspaper today to get the information about putting an ad into there paper for part of our outreach this year.
That will cost somewhere close to $100-$125 to have an ad ran in the county of Wayne for 4 weeks. I am sitting back and praying about this one. That is alot out of the budget for it and I don't know if we can pull it off. It may be one of those things that may be added into the picture of we raise enought money with the fundraising.

The fundraising, I am excited about. After talking with Pastor, we have a few ideas to raise money. One being a pop can drive. If everyone does do it, we will be able to raise alot of money that way. Another one is a bake sale, and I do need to get permission on when to have it, but I was thinking that maybe Easter Sunday....don't know if that would be ok or not, but there will be alot of people at church that day and maybe be able to raise more money than any other day.
Oh and we are doing a rummage sale too! I have to get moving on these though if I want them to happen. The rummage sale is already planned to be the Saturday before Memorial day weekend. I think it is May 19th (my dad's bday) I am hoping it is a success!

Well, more updates will follow as I get more into this VBS!

Monday, February 26, 2007

He is out!

He is out! For good!

I was having my quiet time with the Lord last night. While that was taking place I realized something, to overtake the devil, you must kick him out. So, he is out. I kicked his butt out of my house for good! Gone, notta, no more of him.
I am rebuking him in all I do and for all I know.

I am just fed up and tired of seeing my family and friends being attacked by him and why? Because of their love for the Lord! No more! Jesus is more powerful than the devil and because of that reason alone, he is gone.

Something that I have learned also is that prayer does not have to be this elegant thing that you have to do at certain times. When I pray, I am talking to God just like I am talking to anyone who is reading this. I tell him how I am feeling, weather happy or sad, and how much I love him and how grateful I am to have him.

The Lord is my savior, my life.
If I did not have him in my life, I would, noooooooooo I know that I would be high on some drug right now and my kids would be in Child protective services or living with some family member.

It is funny how just looking back on how much you have changed can put things into prospective. Just by typing that makes me remember and think about how much I have changed. Sometimes I have people telling me left and right that I need to change this or that. That I can't be a Godly person if I am doing this or that. Well, LOOK! I was able to rid myself of drugs! DRUGS! I have sins in my life yes, that is something that will take time to get rid of, but with God, all things are possible.

You know, I heard today on the radio about accountability. On how people should have accountability partners. Well, with that said, I need to confess to anyone here.
When I got pregnant with Matthew, I quit smoking but my worst fear came back to me. I started smoking again. :(
But, instead of beating myself up everyday like I have for making such a dumb and stupid mistake once again, I am giving this sin to the Lord. I am laying it down on His feet. It is His.
Can I just up and quit? I don't know. Will I try? YES! I am tired of this sin in my life and all it is doing is holding me back farther from the Lord. I allowed this sin to control certain things I do. I will make decisions based on when I can have a cigarette. STUPID! Okay, my point of confessing this is to have accountability. I am asking that whoever reads this, can help me be accountable for this sin. Even if I have not completely quit, I need you to help me realize that I need to quit, and to see how it is going. I will no longer be ashamed of my sin also. I don't care who knows that I started smoking again. (though I figure most have smelled the nasty smell on me already)
My plan is this..... On Monday March 5th I will be cutting my smoking in 1/2. Only 15 cigarettes a day (yup I smoke a pack and 1/2 a day....terrible!) Then the following Monday, I will only smoke 8 cigarettes a day, then the following monday 3 cigarettes. Then with the Lords help, the Monday after that, I will be a non smoker and a healthier person.
Please, help me with support and love on this!
Thank you

Sunday, February 25, 2007

The feeling Blue

I am completely feeling like the devil is attacking left and right lately.
It is effecting almost everyone I know.
From my sister, to church friends to my home.
Why is this? Why does the devil feel the need to attack us?

It does upset me to see everyone I know, even myself, in such a blue mood. Not happy about anything because to be honest, there is not much to be happy about. So many people we know are going through troubles. How can someone be happy about not being able to pay rent, or having to take money from one bill to pay another?
Or for some out there, to have to compromise one activity for another.

This devil must be rebuked out of our lives. Maybe it is happening because of how we are living our lives. Just by allowing one thing to slide, allows another thing to slide, then as soon as you know it, you are backsliding.
Kevin and I were just like that last week. We were about to make the most worst decision of our lives. We were believing such lies that the devil feeds you, and leave such a warm loving environment for what? To satisfy our needs...not God's.

Just to change a little here.................

Oh my, I am about to share my feelings about a couple I know at my church. But so that I am not putting to much out there, I will refrain from naming names. But to any potential readers out there, I don't know....I just feel the need to share about how this couple has changed the way I view some things.

Let see, I knew about this couple from my parents before I even attended my church. My mother would always talk about how his wife would home school all there children, which are now 6 children. That is kinda how I first found out about them. Then when I started attending my church, I met them. Very friendly and well-put-together family. As time went by I found myself putting this family on a pedestal. Like setting them up as an example on how I should raise my family. The things that they probably struggle in, I never saw. I would think they were so perfect. Very submissive wife, loving trusting husband. And such great parents.
What I did, bc I saw myself thinking like this, I prayed for the Lord to show me the real them. And of course he did. I saw that they were this normal family, with normal problems and normal good qualities also. So I guess the question is this? Do I still put them up on a pedestal? No, but I do admire them. I admire there relationship with God and how strong there trust is in Him. I am pretty sure, just like I am with the Dugger family, that if someone who has a big family did not follow God's will, that they would have probably stop having children at 2 or 3 kids.
Ya know what? I am sitting here in this tiny 2 bedroom apartment looking around at how cramped up this place is with 5 bodies living in it and just reflecting on hearing that the Dugger family lived in a 3 bedroom house for years with like 14 people! I really need to put things into prospective.
Like the family I have talked about and the Dugger family, I feel they live as an example for the following verses....

Proverbs 3:5&6
Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight.

In both these families, weather they know it or not, they have been examples of these verses. Do they have there bad days? YES! But at the end of the day, they have trusted God with everything they can, gone past there own understanding, acknowledged God in everything, and trusted in him to lead them.
That alone, I admire!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Urgent prayer request

My sister Sue, is going through a huge trial today.
It is about her baby :(
Please keep her and her husband Zach in prayer.
They received some very very bad news about the baby this morning.
Thank you

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sunday Feb. 18th 2007

After some consideration, Kevin and I came to a decision to stay home from church today. Due to him being overworked with his normal job, as a plumber, and helping out at my sister's alot lately, we needed a family day. It really hit him last night when he came home and told me that he had not seen his kids in 3 days.

It is amazing how you can just allow life to grab you and take you far away from where you want to be. Our main focus as parents is to make sure our children are in a loving and caring environment. That was not happening since he has been preoccupied with my sisters house.

I will have to say that I totally missed being at church. I think it was just hearing a sermon and enjoy fellowship with others. I will just have to wait until next week to have that!

We decided to take our kids to ceaserland to just spoil them a little. They had a blast and I hit the Jackpot on a token machine and won the kids 250 tickets! I love doing that! Though there was some embarrassment when I was collecting my tickets! But it was for the kids! He he!

Now it is all about relaxing as a family. And just as I expected, Kevin is snoozing away on the couch watching some type of police show on t.v. It is either a police show or America's funniest home videos! After 10 years with someone, I guess you start to just expect certain things from them.

Oh, I must share my dreams last night. I had not 1, not 2 but 3 nightmares last night. The first one, I cannot remember. But the second was about these airplanes shaped like birds, that had movements like a bird has, and people screaming at me to help save there lives. I am still scared just talking about it.
The third one was about this box that had something electrical in it. I saw it smoking then all of a sudden someone showed up with a fire extinguisher but it made the fire worse, so I went to pull the fire alarm and run, and it blew up like a bomb.
Both about people, both about your life in jeopardy..... just scary huh?

Friday, February 16, 2007

Life just getting ahold of me!

Just life getting a hold of me before I can't get a hold of it.

This week was the first week of Jonny stopping home school and starting up preschool. At first, I was scared. He was crying for me and wanting to home school. But the Lord was really showing me that He is in control. He calmed Jonny down, and now, Jonny is just in love with preschool.
Today, they gave him this DVD about stories in the bible. Very cool! It is a Christian preschool, which makes it pricey, but in the long run, very worth it. And once again, God will provide.

This weekend will be busy.
Tonight, Kevin and I are getting out for a while. My mother is watching Matty and Kevin's dad is watching the boys. We are going to dinner and bowling. I am so happy that we are putting "time together" on the top of our lists now. It is refreshing to have some time alone without kids interrupting. It makes me remember that I was his wife first! lol

Saturday, Kevin is working at my sisters all day. So I will have a good chance of getting caught up on the house work. There is just SO much going on lately, that I haven't been able to keep up with the normal stuff.
Sunday is church of course. Then a day of relaxing!

We do have some important decisions to make soon. So if you can keep us in prayer.
We have too much on our plates and well have seen our efforts to please God turn into people pleasing. So if you could please keep praying that we make the right decisions. Turning down the people is a hard thing to do.

Monday, February 12, 2007


Last night, I turned to God. And he gave me this song. I wrote a song, needs work, but it is a start!

Lord, Draw me close
I need to feel your peace and your love.

Lord, to feel your presence
To feel it comeing down from above.

Verse 1
I found you in the darkness
As I was empty and down

You came into my life
And turned it all around.

Verse 2
Since the first moment
You gave your life for me

So that I can join you
And triumph mightly.

I see it clearly now,
I see how much you love
The power that you are,
And how you send it down from above.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

A New day

Other than poems, I have not really been writing much lately.

It is time for me to start a new day!

As I posted in one of my previous posts, I am wanting to become closer to God this year. I want to know what he expects out of me as his child.
In our home group, we were asked to spend a few minutes a day meditating on the Lord.
Well, with much work on that, I was failing. I just could not hear him or feel him. I received nothing. Until Monday night.
Kevin and I have been debating weather or not to home school our children. Well, we have looked at a lot of books, and online studies about the issue. After we prayed out of our search, I did not feel good. Just felt confused. I want, better.... WE want to do God's will. But feel confused on what that is.
In the word it tells us to find out his will we need to:

1. Pray
2. Aline it up in the Word
3. Talk to elders in the church
4. Pray some more

Well, I really felt that we have done all 3 of those.
So, as I was asked by my home group leader, I got into my prayer closet. The shower!
I turned on my praise and worship and started to humble myself to him.
See, during this search about homeschooling a lot of negatives came out about me. Like if I could stick to a schedule, if just because I had a bad day would I still school? Another one was if I was qualified enough to.
Well I took it all to Him. Humbled myself to him.
And in the end, I heard him. I finally heard Jesus speaking to me. To my heart.
This is what he told me:
To remember Proverbs 3:5-6 , which tells us to trust in him, and follow his paths.
And that HE is my strength. That if it is His will for our children to be home schooled, he would give me the strength to get through the tough days.
But I am still not knowing if it is His will?
It is a hard one to tell. I know it is in my heart to teach my own children. I feel it as a calling of mine. Since I was a little girl all I wanted to do is be a Mommy and teach!
So, to whomever reads this, could you please pray with Kevin and I, that we are open to His will, and allow him to direct our paths!

Just a quick question for all you readers!

When you trust in God, do you just trust in him while you are going down that bad dirt road? Or do you allow him on the smooth pavement also?

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

My Poems

I think I have found something that I love to do..
Writing Poems.

I don't know, I get mixed reviews on them. Some say nothing, some say they should not rhyme, and others just love them.

I will be posting them as I feel the need to.

The previous 3 poems are some that I have been holding onto, and felt lead to share!



I woke up in a sad mood,
That makes me feel unloved.

I just feel like I can't measure up,
And that makes me feel unloved.

The day breaks with so much promise,
I hear the clitter clatter of children playing,
But yet,
I still feel unloved.

I spend most evenings alone,
Even though he is home.
And I feel unloved.

I talk to him and sometimes stare,
But he acts like I am not there,
And I feel unloved.

As the day goes by,
I end up starting to cry,
Because I feel unloved.

Will he see the pain he can cause,
When he can not take a moment to pause,
That makes me feel unloved.

For I love him with all my heart,
And I never am willing to part,
Even if I feel unloved.

With God who strengthens me is whom I trust,
With Jesus I just must continue without a fuss.
And one day,
I will no longer feel unloved.

The Moments

The Moments

Every moment that goes by,
I reflect and wonder why.

How can they grow so fast?
How long will this stage last?

While my boys are still small,
and play with toys in the hall.

I know one day it will end,
and I may not be a friend.

To my Bubba, my First and Last,
for they are growing up so fast.

I will miss this precious day,
Of watching the way my boys play.

Imagination, Cars, and Tag,
Pillow and couch games are just a fad.

I spend too much time try to take it all in,
And awaiting the next stage to begin.

Will they still treasure a waking day?
Or still get excited about a new game to play?

Will they just live a life of worry?
Or go brushing off in a hurry?

Will they forget there Mom and Dad?
Or will they remember all the fun we have had?

I know I will miss these days,
These beauiful , loving, and precious days.

My testimony

My Testimony
By Jackie Grim

To see the love He has for me,
You must take the time to see.

The Lord saved me by His Grace,
And has set up my resting place.

Because of His Son, I have become,
A great woman in Christ, open to everyone.

A few years ago, my eyes were not open to him,
I was raising my family in sin.

A world of hate, addiction and lies,
Until one night when I started to cry.

He showed me the price Jesus payed for both you and for me.

I saw it all, all of the sin,
That sin my family and I were in.

At that moment I spoke to him,
And allowed him to come back in.

It is a night I won't forget,
When I truely understood the promise he kept.

All he asked me was to love him,
And to turn away from my sin.

For me at first, it was not an easy task,
I had a strong hold over me, that I used as a mask.

But with prayer and love from family and friends,
The Lord will comfort me until the end.

Yes I am telling you my testimony,
Of when I allowed Jesus to hold me.

Once I humbled myself to him,
I was able to walk away from that sin.

Thank you Jesus for your loving heart,
And for giving me a brand new start!

Friday, January 5, 2007

Now we are off!

The start of a new year comes with a new start in the walk with the Lord!

This year I hope to become even closer to God. With him on my side, I cannot do wrong. He is always protecting me and my family.

Last night, even though I have been working in his will, more problems arose in our family. So, instead of giving into worry and concern, Kevin and I prayed together about it, and this morning, we found that the Lord worked it all out! Praise the Lord for all his love. He even loves us when we are not walking in his will. He proved that to me last night.

Life is becoming even more busy around her in this new year. This last week I received the Vacation Bible school curriculum for 2007. Very excited am I that I get to be blessed to do this again this year. Last year was my first year pulling it off, and well, I know better this year to not listen to what EVERYONE has to say. I was people pleasing last year, and well this year, I will be God pleasing! I am letting him direct my path in this area now. So, what he feels fit, will happen!

Now, onto my home life.
Right now, life is doing pretty good. Yesterday I had the privilege to watch a friends children while she has some important business to attend to. Well, I took the day as a tester, to see if I am capable of handling her kids so that I could offer my services in the future. It worked out and when I stopped by her house last night, I offered my services to her! She was much pleased to here that she has someone to count on. Even if it is to come over in the evening so she can go shopping for food lol!

Well, I can't be here to much longer. Life is on the move and onto new places! Yup, Meijer here I come!