Monday, December 1, 2008


The TRUE meaning of Christmas can be found in these important verses.

Luke 2:1-20
The Birth of Jesus

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

The Shepherds and the Angels

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

I think that I have memorized the story of Jesus' birth by now. And I even cry when I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas on T.V. and one of the children tell the Christmas story. Of course this holiday always hits me and us Christians really hard because it is the truth, the day we celebrate the birth, the beginning of life to this one person whom we call God. This man, through his spirit, makes me feel calm when the storm is brewing in my life. He comforts me when sad times approach. And He tells me not to feel alone, because He is always with me. On December 25th (which is not the real birth date of his birth) I celebrate the "coming of my king".
We may not have alot of money for what the world calls Christmas. But I have alot in my heart to give to my Lord on the day we celebrate him.
I think of the way I am on my birthday. How most can be on their birthday. We can kinda act a little self fish...wanting it all to be about us. It is OUR day right? Hmmmm what happens on Jesus' birthday? Don't we all wake up (some of us really early in the morning), and look under a tree in our house and see ALOT of presents? It is not our birthday! It is Jesus'. But yet, because us Christians believe that everything we have is from God himself and we would not have anything without Him, God gives US presents on HIS birthday.....pretty interesting in my book!

I am saddened this year about Christmas though. I miss my old church this year. Seeing everyone at the holidays....I miss it. But also, I am saddened about the selfishness that the world is when it comes to presents. To gifting people with expensive toys and gifts. It is not what it is about. I mean, a nice present is nice and all, but I am looking forward to the time I get to spend with my family.
Someone I love asked this question a few weeks ago. "What do you like Thanksgiving? It is Christmas that has the presents!"
My answer:
I love thanksgiving because there is not pressure of what you are getting others. It is just about family, love and being thankful for what you have on that day. It is not about material things, it is about your relationships and your love for others.

I want to end this post with my most favorite Christmas song.
Please go to it.....

Here are the lyrics

A poor orphan girl named maria
Was walking to market one day
She stopped for a rest by the roadside
Where a bird with a broken wing lay
A few moments passed till she saw it
For its feathers were covered with sand
But soon clean and wrapped it was travelling
In the warmth of marias small hand
She happily gave her last peso
On a cage made of rushes and twine
She fed it loose corn from the market
And watched it grow stronger with time
Now the christmas eve service was coming
And the church shone with tinsel and light
And all of the townfolks brought presents
To lay by the manger that night
There were diamonds and incense And perfumes
In packages fit for a king
But for one ragged bird in a small cage
Maria had nothing to bring
She waited till just before midnight
So no one would see her go in
And crying she knelt by the manger
For her gift was unworthy of him
Then a voice spoke to her through the darkness
Maria, what brings you to me
If the bird in the cage is your offering
Open the door and let me see
Though she trembled, she did as he asked her
And out of the cage the bird flew
Soaring up into the rafters
On a wing that had healed good as new
Just then the midnight bells rang out
And the little bird started to sing
A song that no words could recapture
Whose beauty was fit for a king
Now maria felt blessed just to listen
To that cascade of notes sweet and long
As her offerings was lifted to heaven
By the very first nightingales song

Merry Christmas!

Monday, November 17, 2008

November 22nd

On Saturday it will be my 29th birthday. I am not one to "freak out" about my it is no BIG deal that this is my last year of being a 20-something....

Instead, I am very excited. This year, I have the honor of doing something great on my birthday. Something selfless, something that gives you something that no amount of money can buy.

I will be handing out thanksgiving baskets.
My father started this when we were young. We would get a small basket together, (turkey,stuffing, milk and so on) and take it to my fathers aunt who lived in downtown Detroit. But one year, she was not home. So we decided to take a drive and see if we saw someone who was needy. Then as we were about to give up, we saw couple going through a dumpster behind a building. They did not have a home to live in, they did not have any material possessions except what they had on them. As I look back I think they may have been abusing some type of drug. BUT, my dad got out of the car and offered this couple a full Thanksgiving dinner. I remember him asking if they had a place to cook it, and they were so excited and replied with a YES! They were able to take it to a friends home and cook it.
I also remember the car ride home. It was sad and lonely. At that time, I was kinda bummed that our day had been ruined so to say. But now, as a soon to be 29 year old, I see why it hit my dad so much. It hurts when you go out there and give. It hurts because of so many reasons. One, that you feel like you just will never have enough to give. You want to give so much more. Two, it kinda slaps you on the face to see how "self fish" you can be. A want that seems like a reasonable one, seems like you are asking too much. Three, It makes you see how well God has blessed you. Not only with a home, good food but with a loving family who loves each other.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

So this is Christmas???

So far in my house, it kinda is!

We have our outside lights already up (heard it might snow this upcoming weekend) and I have my village up! Both look so pretty!

And an update:

Things have been busy around here. I organized the Farrand Fall Festival at the kid's school. That was a great success, but took so much of my time. Then Kevin went on vacation and will return to work tomorrow.

I have been watching my little nephew 1-2 times a week. But I do not get him this week :(
He is going to Arizona with my sister and mom to visit my grandparents. They won't be back until next Sunday. I will miss that little guy! And same with Matthew.... He is always asking for "iya"...hehe

But hmmmm.....Oh REALLY GOOD NEWS! My husband...Kevin, passed his test to be a licensed plumber! He gets a raise tomorrow at work and received a better work truck! Now he really has a "truck-like" truck!

Other than that, just to same with the kids. Growing and Growing. Eating and Eating!!!

Hope to hear from all my friends out there...Miss you all!

Sunday, October 19, 2008


It seems like the economy is hitting hard around us. So many people we know has lost alot of money due to the stock market and with prices of EVERYTHING going up, up and up...there is not telling what kind of Christmas anyone will have this year.

Here is a story I read in the Observer this week. This is my children's school district.

Sunday, September 21, 2008


I gave in.

I had a cigarette.
I was a mess. So I just gave in.

Any smoker knows that it is hard.

I have set a new quit date:

Thursday Sept. 25th

The day after my husbands test.

I had

my first crying fit.

I was really hoping I would not, but I did. I just pulled myself together and now I am fine.

I am really trying to use NOTHING.
But I do have nicorite gum ust in case.

It has been 15 1/2 hours since my last cigarette.

So far is has been 11 hours

Since my last cigarette.

Other than having to stop myself from the "habit" of going outside this morning, I think I have been doing good.

I have to remind myself that I am quitting because I will die.

And so I can get a good nights sleep again. It has been over a week now since I have had a good nights sleep. I am sooo tired.

Just wanted to update.

I ended up having my last cigarette a day early b/c of my breathing problems.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Kinda want to revise what I posted a few days ago

I am still quitting!

But that will be the last time I refer to it as quitting.

Now I see it as going back to that moment before my first cigarette.

See, non smokers do have have to need of a cigarette. And on Monday, I will not have the need anymore.

So....on Monday...I will officially be a NON SMOKER!
I will have the feelings of "needing a cigarette". And get this......all you friends of mine...ones who have smoked or not......


Instead of them making me need a cigarette, they are CONFIRMING TO ME THAT I AM NO LONGER HAVING ONE!!!!!!!!!!!


I will be on here on Monday.

I am still asking for prayer.....Everyone needs prayer. Pray that my mind stays focused on the "prize" of being a nonsmoker and not my "old" addiction to nicotine.

God Bless and have a great weekend!


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

It is coming to an end

I know I have talked about this in the past, but It is happening now.

I HAVE to quit smoking.

For the last few nights I have been waking up in the middle of the night with a hard wheezing and bad cough...caused by smoking. I feel like there is alot of weight on my chest, and even my inhaler and the kid's nebulizer is not working.

I have to admit, I am scared that something might be already wrong with me and I might be too late. I just want to see my kids grow up. I want to be healthy. I want to feel good throughout the day. I want my energy back.

But, I am scared. Afraid of being mean, moody and so on. But I am quitting with the patch and gum.

Right now I smoke 2 packs a day. I am usually having a cigarette every 20-25 minutes.

But I am planning on recording my cigarettes per day in the evening on my blog.

My quit date in Monday September 22nd.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dear Mr. Obama

Ever have times like this?

So irritated, so fusterated so annoyed??

I am feeling that way lately. I can't go into "Details" but it is driving me nuts.

I can't wait for a few things to happen soon. But I think it takes a little motivation on my part....

First of all, I want to...have a desire to....get a job.
I have been that "Stay at home mom" for over 7 years now. And I am getting tired of it.
It has become boring and well...lame.

So I am going to look into community colleges to attend and a career to get into that I see interesting.

I see other mothers like me when the kids are all in school full time, just sitting at home bored. And even though I have Matthew, it will only be a few years until preschool starts and then Kindergarten.


On another note.

Matthew has surgery yesterday to have ear tubes placed into his ears. It was hard seeing my baby like that, but he is doing great now. I had to call Kevin home early though, because Matthew just would not listen yesterday and was walking around then falling b/c of the meds.

Saturday, August 30, 2008


Yesterday we traded out our old car and got this new one. It feels so nice to have a new car. And it is just beautiful inside and out. The kids love it and same with Kevin and I.
It is a 2008 Ford Edge SE.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Let the countdown begin!


That is it...18 more days until school starts!

Okay, I am that mom who cries every year when my babies go off into the world without me....but after this trying summer vacation...I am SOOOOOOOOOOO ready for school to begin. It helps that they are both going to be in school full time this year! It will just be Matthew and I Monday thru Friday from 8:15am until 4:15pm. I can't wait to have some alone time during the day and to have some bonding time with Matthew. I have not had that with him!

So again................ 18 more days!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Sad days

On Sunday, we received a phone call telling us that Kevin's Grandmother had passed away.

I have known her for 12 years and until her memory started to fail, I had been getting close to her. It is sad to imagine how the family is going to function without Grandma Grim.

The funeral is tomorrow. (Sigh)

Sunday, July 27, 2008


My baby boy turned 2 years old today!

Above are some pictures from his party today!

Monday, July 21, 2008

New baby on board this week!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo I am NOT pregnant!!!!!

I have my sister's baby , Josiah , for the week!
So far he has been wonderful and I just am in love with having a little one in the house again!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Weekend Update!

(hehe I took the name from Saturday Night Live)

Yesterday, we woke up to rain. Kinda dampened our plans to go to the "Art in the Park" in Plymouth, so we opted to take the kids to Great Lakes Crossings. We were thinking this would be a good idea. Turned out to be a disaster. One of our 3 children decided to be in a cranky mood and totally ruin the whole experience for the other 2 children and us. So we decided to just leave and go home.
After we got home, I ended up going out to find a video game and then surprised Kevin by stopping by the fish store and getting him a new coral for his tank.
We ended up just hanging around the house and playing video games.

This morning, Kevin surprised me. He woke up in time to go to church and then when it came for me to get ready and I asked him "Do you wanna go?" he said...YES!
So we went to ROC in Northville today. We had been there before. And we liked it. So today, was like a confirmation on what church to attend. We have decided to attend ROC on a regular basis. It has taken quite a bit of time for us to really accept this church, but we really do feel it will fit all our needs. Like, some of the things that would make me not want to attend has changed since our last visit! So, there ya go! It is not like we are going to jump into membership or helping out yet. We have just found a church that might work!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Lazy Summer Days

I am just loving them!

We have been having a relaxing week.....something long overdue.

Most of our summer has involved parties and on the go activities. It is nice to have the rest of the summer off!!! Not that having a busy schedule isn't nice, it is! But when you can just sit around the house and get the housework done first thing in the morning and then have the rest of the day to relax and play games with the kids......that is the summer days I love the most!

So far today....we have been playing outside in our pop up pool, playing some Zelda on the Wii, and watching movies!!!!

Our upcoming weekend is the last weekend for Kevin this summer. He is starting to work on his license for plumbing which requires a class he needs to every Saturday through September, he will be busy at this class or working. We are hoping he will be able to get Sunday's off work throughout this, but that is a possibility that he will be working on Sundays to cover his Saturdays not at work because he will be at school. Either way....he won't be home. :(

But, he will have weekdays off....and in those, we plan on going places with the kids. One is to take the boys to Cedar Point again. We are wanting to make a habit of going each year with the kids. I loved going when I was a kid.

Even though Kevin is on call tonight I am hoping he gets home within a decent time to play our game tonight. Yes, it is a kid game, but we love it. Kirby Air ride! I like to bust up his machine!!!! Then he gets all mad at me hehe....... It is FUN!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I joined!!!!

The broken bone club that is!

Here is the story.

This afternoon, I was trying to get ahead of the game and get some laundry done so tomorrow would not be too hectic. So I was walking out of my bedroom after folding some laundry to see Matthew hanging from a drawer in the kitchen. It took me by surprise that I was not paying attention to where I was walking and walked right into the high chair and stubbed my toes.
This hurt more than I can explain...almost like I had ALOT of glass stuck into my middle toe. I fell to the floor screaming for mercy......Kevin walks in to help and then could not contain his laughter.....I broke my toe by walking into a high chair.....WAS NOT FUNNY! But now.....It is funny!

I BROKE MY TOE!!!!!!!!!
And it hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

My next dream house!

Another home that I have fallen in love with! I can't wait for next summer to be able to move!!!!

Monday, June 30, 2008

Retirement Party

I called my FIL back to take some pictures of him twisting. (Song: Twist and Shout!)
My Father in law and his wife, Mary. They make a GREAT couple!

The present Kevin, Becky (my SIL) and I gave my FIL!

My Father in Law opening his present! He had no clue it was sitting right there all night long.

Monday, June 23, 2008

I think I have fallen in love :)

With a house! We are not really even looking....just seeing what the houses are going for and then I found this one. I fell in love with it! :)

Thursday, June 19, 2008


Was I freaked out this morning or WHAT!

The boys and I were in the kitchen cleaning and all of a sudden I hear this.....Hummmmmmmmmm BOOM!!!!!
I look over and see that the power strip for the fish tank is on FIRE!
I walk over to it...FREAKING OUT IN THE BRAIN!

First thought.......CALL 911!!!!!..............then I house will be gone by time they get here. Mobile homes go FAST! LOL

Then something spoke to me..............."reach over the flame...grab the power cord......unplug all the outlets and throw it out the doorwall"...................I am suprised that I do not have any burns. The flames were pretty high, but nothing but a coouple spots from smoke!
I know that I know....that was GOD!

A brown extension cords prongs are completely gone!
Very freaky morning!

Needless to fish tank is off right now!

Turns out there was water underneath the power strip....must have caused it to blow like it did!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Some Family Pictures to share

Saturday, June 14, 2008

My side

Since I have departed from my old church, I have been in a search and find mode for a new church that can better fit me and my family. I would be lying if I said that we have been searching and searching.........we have not. We have attended 2 churches in the past 2 months. At first I was feeling quite guilty. Being brought up in a church and family that if you are not attending church, you are sinning and "backsliding". TOTALLY WRONG!

Our absence at our old church brings out sadness within me. I miss seeing everyone, I miss being apart of something that I know is God's work, and I miss the fellowship with people I know.

It has also brought out something that I have been pondering for a while. My upbringing in the church. My oldest sister has been telling me for years that the type of church I was attending was not hitting it on the button when it came to Jesus and the way we live with Jesus. I just could not see it for a long time. I was being blind.
So, here is what I have found. My opinions........

Everyone in this world has some type of selfishness in them. From my experience just at my old church, there was (looking back) alot of selfishness within the church as a whole. Even within me, when prompted me to leave.

It upsets me to see what was a thriving church turn into a pit hole. In a way, I am upset with God for allowing something that was so dear and loved by many, turn into nothing.

When I joined this church, I was only "saved" for 3 months then asked if I would run the nursery. Then asked to run VBS.
When I went to step down from these positions the pastor played ,what I look back as....mind games. I won't get into details.....It hurts to much.

If we as Christians are wondering why people are not going to church but yet love Jesus.....this is why. Too much crap is going on INSIDE the church and nothing is happening OUTSIDE of the church.

Remember these:
"Actions speak louder than words"
"We live by example"

Now, my husband has been questioning the very thought of attending church again.

It took me...hmmm.....8 years to get my husband to attend a church... 8 YEARS! He did not want to attend because of the politics that play out within them. But, he went. We attended for close to 4 years. And then politics got so bad that he could not even stand to walk within the doors anymore.
8 YEARS!!!!!!!! Now he is doesn't want to give another church a chance because of this. He still loves God. A good thing....I love God still too! But, the ignorance of some people, just


I am sure this is upsetting for some to read.....this is my opinion remember, my thoughts......MY BLOG!

I am fed up with hiding my feelings. My feelings are something that makes me....ME!

After leaving my old church, I have felt so confused on how to live a Christ centered life. How to live outside the world but yet in it.......
Unless God does something amazing and soon......I think I might just turn catholic.......seems like less chaos!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008


Tomorrow morning at 8:30am my twin sister Sue is going in for a C Section!!! She is going to have the baby! I am so excited! I can't wait to see this little guy!

(The doctor's were saying the pain she was in was not healthy for her or baby, so they checked to see if the lungs were developed and now.....he is coming!)

Please keep her in prayer and the baby tomorrow morning! I will post some pics when I get them!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Ever just have "one of those days"?

I am having one!

Jonny has been running around the house all day crying because his best friend is not available to play today. So I have been trying to calm down an upset 5 year old.

But let's start off with a wonderful phone call from my husband telling me he working on-call tonight. For all of you that do not know, On-call is when he has to be available for work all night long. It basically sucks!

Then, I receive a phone call that my dad pulled his back out this morning and is at home. He is fine...PTL!

Oh, and my sister Danielle is at the doctor's right now as I type this getting a cyst that is about 8 cm big on her ovaries looked at. Who knows what might happen.....

And, My twin sister has about a 95% chance of having her baby tomorrow. They are doing a test to see if the baby's lungs are developed, if so, then she will be admitted and have a possible C-Section tomorrow evening.

Me? You are is Jackie doing?

I am ready to SCREAM! My mother is being a big pain in my booty, my sisters are making me worry about something I should not worry about...that is God's job.
Church hunting is terrible. Jonny almost drowned in a pool on Saturday...and my mom has put that one in my face. But PTL! The friends house that we were at...there daughter saved him! God sure is keeping an eye out for my Jonny! But I am never hearing the end of it....
I did have a good weekend though.....we spent almost the whole day on Saturday at my friends house. Swimming, dinner, and a bonfire! Well needed since our morning went pretty crappy....we got a phone call saying that all the hard work we put into our pool was to waste. We needed to have it down by the end of the day..... BUMMER! So we have a garden! Tomato's, beans, cantaloupe, watermelon, peppers, and cucumbers.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

My weekend

We have a pool! On Saturday, we set it up. That ended with a BIG water bill and a bad sunburn on Kevin. It was ALOT of work getting the land level, but once we did, it was nice. Then that evening, we helped Kevin's mom move into her new house. We are happy that she is back home!!!

Sunday was interesting. We tried another new church. Solid Rock Bible Church. It was GREAT! Until the sermon.......SNORE! The church was small....good. The people were our age....check!!! The sermon more boring than our last pastor....NOT GOOD! So, we both agreed that we are not going back. To speak the truth, it is hard stepping out like this. I am personally, having a hard time trusting a new church. Every church has it's politics and that is pushing me away. But I know something is out there. Part of me would love the idea of starting a new church, without politics. But I am not sure that can even happen or exist.
Anyways, Sunday night, Kevin's sister came over with her friend and we had a bonfire. We were up to 3am with her. It was a blast. But on Monday morning was the memorial day parade. 8:30am I was at this BORING parade that lasted 5 minutes long. It was LAME! Not worth missing sleep over!!!!
But then later on Monday we went to our friends house and had a BBQ. It was nice! Played a little volleyball and just chilled. Very relaxing. I feel right at home at their house! And then we came home and watch those RED WINGS!!!! GO WINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was my weekend!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Weekend

My weekend was pretty good!

On Saturday, we went to some garage sales, but did not find anything. Then went shopping a little for a birthday present and some garden things (actually just some things for my flower box). After that, we went to my mom's house and dropped off a flower, and then to Kevin's step mom's and dropped off another flower. Later that evening, we went out to Mexican Fiesta for dinner with Kevin's mom and brother and all the kids! A party of 12!

Then on Mother's day, it poured rain all day long! It matched perfectly to what I wanted to do all day.....sit around with my family and just enjoy each other. And we did! We played board games, watched a movie. Then I watched the last episode of Survivor!

WHY DID THEY VOTE FOR Parv?????? What a bunch of idiots! I told Kevin I want to apply to get on the show. Everything could work out, except that I need to get a passport just to apply! That is like over $100 just to apply???? I don't know. But I would love to have the chance to win that dough and prove to everyone around me that I can do more than they think I can! so many people think I am weak. I AM NOT WEAK!

Friday, May 9, 2008


Just doing some laundry, look around the house, cannot find Matthew or the dog.

Nowhere in this house.......

Where do I find them?


In the neighbors yard!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Matthew has gotten out of the house 2 times.

His new name is


Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Sesame Street

Why on earth do they make the characters so dumb?

This morning Big Bird was trying to come up with a song about the number 3 and one of the other characters suggested finding the 3 little pigs. So Big Bird asked why? I mean COME ON! I know you main age group is 2-4 years old. But my kid ain't that dumb!

He is actually a very bright boy. The kid can hold a beat very well and LOVES music, whether he is singing, making music or dancing.

Just a quick entry today!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Bee yourself!!!

God created you just the way you are. Stop trying to be someone else just to fit in.
That does not just go to high school or teenagers. We, as adults, do the same thing.

I am a smoker. And almost 99% of the people I talk to, go out with and have fun with, do not smoke. (this might be a bad example) I have found myself wanting to quit because they do not smoke. But I was wanting to quit for the wrong reasons. I wanted to quit to "fit in". The truth is, even after I quit smoking, I will still feen that cigarette if I am at a place with alot of smokers. The only way I will quit smoking is if I am ready to rely on God to take away that from me. And yes, it is sin. But not in a way that people might think. It is a sin because my body is the temple of God and I need to keep the temple clean. It is not a sin because it does not look like a christian thing to do.

I remember a story a friend told me. He was at a conference and it was break time. Well, he walked outside and found a huge amount of people smoking, looking down and ashamed of it.

I have found myself stepping out of the ashamed feeling that I would feel if someone saw me smoking. This is a part of me. Even when I quit, it will be a part of me. It makes me ..... ME! Not that I say that with pride. I hate that I smoke. It harms my body and even though I smoke outside of the house, it is still effecting my children. BUT, it is with me for a reason. This comes back to my "I believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason" statement. And it is true. Even when the devil comes in to attack, God will use it for his glory. It happens for a reason!!!!

My point.....I smoke and I will not change that about me just to fit in. And if any of my friends do not like it and do not want to be around me because if it, then I guess they were not really my friends after all.
As parents, we tell our children to be themselves and do not change who they are to have friends or fit in. But so often we forget to apply that to ourselves.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Phony Bologna

Do you ever go somewhere and see someone who you know is upset at you and they give you that..."Hi, how are you" smile and hug? But deep down, you know they really do not care and are acting all "Hump...I had to see you huh?". I can't stand people like that. I faced ALOT of that today. There are a few things that have been bothering me sooooo bad lately.

1. Phony Bologna's!!!! I can't stand anyone who is not themselves. Why do we pretend to be happy when we may be upset or hurt or even angry. Holding it in is not the best solution!!! When asked the question "How are you today" even if it is a bad day, why do we answer " Good"??? To avoid that person caring????

2. Perfect housewives! Oh boy...this one gets to me all the time. All they are doing is making other wives feel like we are not good enough. When you have children, you WILL have crumbs on the floor. (unless you are constantly running the vacuum or sweeping in 10 minute intervals)!!!

3. Liars. Do not lie to me. I can handle the truth. If I have upset you, let me know. If not, how can I know I upset you!!!

So many people in my life do not think I can perform as well as them or even someone who is as educated as me. See, I am good at what I do. Do I have a clean house that the bathrooms are crystal clean? NO! But, they do not need to be. I will not sacrifice my time with my husband, kids or my alone time with God (which I need to have more often or maybe I would not be feeling this way????) to clean the house because someone MIGHT stop by!

As I look around my house right at this moment I see....

1. Dishes from lunch in the sink
2. Crumbs on the living room floor
3. Toys...all over.....
4. Things on the counters
5. Dirty clothes on my bedroom floor
6. A bathtub that need a cleaning
7. Mirrors that need to be washed
8. Closets that are full of stuff that might or might not be garbage (hehe)
9. Shoes all over
10. Kids rooms are a mess

There is more.....

My point is that if you do not like it, don't stop by! LOL

I remember my mom telling me something that her grandmother told her....." If your kitchen and bathroom is clean, then no one can complain if they come over". I see that statement as false. Here is my statement " If you stop by and do not like the way you see my house, the broom and mop is in the laundry room, the cleaning solutions are above the stove, and the vacuum is in my yourself or do not complain!!!"
(Am I mean??? LOL)

I am tired of holding all this in. We do not have to be perfect.
I remember reading a friends blog a while back and it asked "Why is your family unique".
We are ourselves. That makes us unique. If I was to be like the other families I know, then I would be like them and not like us. Kevin and I discipline our kids differently than other families, we eat dinner differently, we spend our money differently, we live differently. We are us. That make us different. I like being different and for years now I have been living in this "Christian shell" that I must live like other Christian families so that the example of a christian family is given correctly. But all I have been doing is giving a false view on who I am. In a way I am scared to be "myself", thinking that my friends will not like me anymore. But shoot...I have given up so many things that I love not for God, but for the church and for people.
One thing that I loved to do is wear trendy clothes! Halter tops was one of the clothing items that I loved to wear. But I felt like it was not right to wear...I just bought a few of them. Will I wear them to church? Yes I will. Because they do not make me look bad, they accent me.
Another thing that I have LOVED SO MUCH! Oldies and country music. It is this misconception that a christian must listen to christian music or they are damned to hell. I love the 70's music generation. Those songs have more soul, more love than any music today. Oh, and I just love hearing about how someone lost his wife, dog left him and his house burnt down all in one day (country music).

Hope I am coming across okay. :)

Saturday, April 26, 2008

When everyone sees only our faults, God sees our possibilities

What a true statement that is above from Joyce Meyer. I am constantly facing others telling me my faults, almost on a daily basis. But it can be so reassuring to know that God thinks of me in a different light. Plus, it is only what He thinks that matters!
To have someone who thinks and see so much positive things out of you makes you feel so loved.

I always see myself through someone else's eyes. I allow what other people say or even what I "think" they are thinking of me to judge what I think of myself....hope that makes sense.
But I love this new light on myself. Through some people that God has given me, I have made some big steps forward from being that doormat that everyone "needed" to being myself. My attitude has changed from being very concerned about what someone might think to the "this is what you get and just deal". I do not find myself being mean about it, but there is cases where I feel I have no other option. So, I just trust in the Lord and move forward.
I am so tired of living for the past. The thinking of "if I do this then maybe the way we were 5 years ago might be again" just don't work like that!

Ya know, it takes time when you are constantly being put down because you are not living up to someone else's expectations. I am 28 years old and refuse to be treated like a 12 year old anymore. It just can't happen anymore!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

And it shall come to pass Genesis 4:14

From the mouth of Joyce Meyer:
Life is a continual process in which everything is constantly changing. If we can grasp that truth, it will help us make it through the difficult times in which we find ourselves. It will also help us not to hold on too tightly to the good times, thinking, "if I ever lose all this, I just can't make it."
God wants us to enjoy all of life - not just its destination but also the trip itself.

For over a year now, God has been showing both Kevin and I some "signs" that a great change will be taking place. I think if you were to look back through my posts, there is one that stats that change is going to happen this year.
Well, alot of change has been happening. Maybe to much change for comfort. It is funny how we do not like change, that is make us feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, that is something that is a constant by living. The weather changes sometimes in a moment, people change...they get older..pass away...have children, and so on. Our living environments change. We move homes, we move out of our parents house. We grow....and when we are growing weather it be in the Lord or just living on this earth, we are changing. But at the same time, we do not like it. We always look back to the "Good ol' days" and miss them. But when we do, we are missing out of what is happening today.

We have decided to follow to calling from God and change our worship place. This was a HUGE step for Kevin, for he is not comfortable with any type of change (with the exception of changing the dinner menu around LOL). But, we could not hide from God any longer. He was telling us for a long time that we are needed somewhere else. That our qualities can be used somewhere. Now, is the adventure of finding where!
Like Joyce Meyer said..... God wants us the enjoy life....all of it. Even the trip! So I am prepared to enjoy this trip He has planned for us! What even made this feel more of being in God's Will was the reaction from the kids. They were really excited about going on a new "adventure"! That was just like having icing on a cake to me. It confirmed to me that God does want us to move on. And that we were always looking to the past and could not accept the future or even the here and now where we were.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

I have to express my feelings

My love is not here. He left this morning for Florida. He won't be back until late Thursday night.
I feel so empty without him. I am just so sad.
I have spent the whole day crying. Also, I cried all day yesterday. I just miss him so much. But at the same time I am happy for him that he is able to have a break.
I have to come up with some stuff to do this week because I have been so lonely today without him.
Now that it is evening, it is getting worse. I just miss him.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The up's and down's of an 18 month old!

Today I had a dentist appointment for Joseph and Jonathon. Just a normal cleaning but I had to take Matthew along with me. All week long I had been dreading this day just because my 18 month old baby boy has turned into the terrible 2 child!!!
So, I am standing there, guarding the door to block Matthew from getting his own personal cleaning at the dentist's and a women sitting in the waiting room starts disiplining my 18 month old child as if I am not capable of doing so! I was in a rage inside and just prayed my way out of saying something I would regret and just smiled instead. I mean...COME ON! He is 18 months old and he don't quite get what you are saying when you say...."Shhhhh you are being too loud!" And saying to me "Sometimes they listen better to someone other than there mother" Grrrr

Ok, so my child was not screaming in a fit or anything distrubing. He was just happy! Jumping and singing and talking. Just loud...LOL :) It was kinda cute thinking back on it. Some people just do not know how to let it be.

Now another short one with Matthew.
Today we missed our daily "Sesame Street" but I recorded it through Dish Network. So Matthew wakes up from his nap and starts talking to the tv and says "LLLMOO" "MAMA...LLMO" Ohhhh it was so cute! Then I turn it on for him and he says " MAMA...BABA...LLLMO!!!" Then he sees Elmo and says with such happiness "LLLLMMMOOO" I think he is in love with Elmo!

Monday, January 28, 2008

I have been tagged!

I was tagged by Aimee to play. The game is called Scattergories. Use the first letter of your name and find words with that letter. The number of letters in your name determines how many people you can tag.

What is your name? Jackie

4 letter word: June

Vehicle: Jaguar

City: Jacksonville, Florida

Boy's name: Joshua

Girl's name: Jessica

Movie: Juno

Occupation: Jailer

Something you wear: Jogging Shoes

Celebrity: Jackie Robinson

Food: Juice

Something found in a kitchen: Juicer

Something found in a bathroom: Junky plunger LOL

Reason for being late: Jury Duty LOL

Cartoon character: Jem

Something you shout: Jerk!!!

Animal: Jumping Kangaroos LOL

Body part: Joint
Word to describe you: Joking!

I am tagging Tim

Sunday, January 20, 2008

What a night

Tonight was going as planned until around 6pm, Matthew got sick. He has been doing this often. He will get sick a few times and then all is good for about a week or so. Then he gets sick again.
God showed me something tonight through this. The devil is not wanting me to do good...he wants me to fail and not do as God wants me to. God tells me in His word that I need to stay faithful to Him and trust Him through ALL things and so I shall trust Him through this chapter in my life with Matthew. I am making him an appt. with a doctor tomorrow to see if we can determine if this is acid reflux. My prayers are that God is in control and that even though I do not understand, He does.

Isn't it amazing how God shows you His will? I just love it! Something as simple as opening up the Word and just browsing, then BAM! I know what He is expecting from me!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A Life Changing Year

God sure has alot in store for me and my family this year. Without going into the juicy details that most would love for me to share, I will just say that you will be meeting a new Jackie Grim very soon. I am very excited but scared at the same time. God is changing what is bad in my life and adding the good into my life.
For 28 years I have struggled with who I am. What 28 year old do you know that does not even know how they like there steak cooked? Or what is there real favorite color? Or (to go deeper) what is god's purpose for them? I know, some 50 year olds still don't know what is God's purpose for them. But, I refuse to wait that long.
I am opening myself up to renewed friendship and moving forward. I want to be the outgoing person who just won't shut up! I want people to tell me to shut up! LOL (Kevin does, so I think he would beg to differ)
But to get back to what my title of this thread is.....
God spoke to me and told me this would be a year of change. At first I was thinking, ok...yeah I need to quit smoking...then ...hmmm.. maybe homeschool. Without Kevin on board to that, it is a no way buddy! Then, I started to wait on God. (I know 2008 is only 16 days young) But, he is already showing me what needs to be changed and has given me such promise for tomorrow. I am so thankful for the first time in my life for friendship. It is a blessing that God gives you...even if it comes up to you without you knowing it! :) God is so great huh? I just cannot wait (even though.....yup I am scared) for the new Jackie Grim to shine through!